The Personal Energy Style Matrix

People handle conflict in different ways.

To better deal with conflict in our lives we need to understand who we are, and how we deal with conflict situations.

People are the Same

There is a gap between stimulus and response and the key to both our growth and happiness lies in how we use that space.  [from The 7 Habits of  Highly Effective People by author Steven Covey]

How well we succeed at dealing with conflict depends on whether we choose to react or respond.

Our bodies are genetically wired to react in a preprogrammed survival mode to threats or stresses. Medical research has uncovered the physical design of the human body and its reaction to stressors through the mediation of the autonomic and sympathetic nervous systems.

We call this the Flight or Fight syndrome. Its what can get us out of the way or into trouble.

This is described as our “emotional intelligence”. The ability to respond appropriately to any stressful situation.

How a person deals with a stressful or confronting situation is a combination of their Temperament and Training. The skill of staying centred and calm when in conflict can only be learnt experientially (not academically) because our reaction to conflict is physiological.

Warriors who faced the greatest stress, the threat of dying in battle understood this. Over centuries, they studied the techniques of finding equanimity in conflict.  AiKiDo is the Japanese martial art that provides, knowledge of our difference, understanding of our similarities and experience of the application of principles of energetic interaction based on personal energy styles, the Warrior’s Way of Harmony.

People are Different

Despite our modern sense of equality and legal equity, the ancients knew that people were different and reacted differently to situations. Hippocrates, the Greek “father of medicine” postulated over 2,500 years ago, a system of four “humours” which defined four personality types.

This idea was accepted and refined over hundreds of years of European thought. Even Pavlov, the first to describe the ‘conditioned reflex’ was struck by the importance of an animal’s temperament, in determining their ability to be conditioned.

People were, by their nature, described by one of the 4 TemperamentsCholeric, PhlegmaticSanguine and Melancholic.

AiKiDo principles of energetic interaction defines people by their differing energetic appearance.

We describe the 4 Energetic Types by the nature of their energy states as: Squiggles, Circles, Triangles and Squares and we modify our approach to dealing with and negotiating with them depending on their energy style.